Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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