Who did Billy Mays play for?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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