dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
