bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you inspire me to be a worse person
We left the knife in your bed.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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