Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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