I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
