You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
