Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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