Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
