Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do vagina's smell?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Randomize
