Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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