it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
