im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
