OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
