one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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