thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
