i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
