Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
