Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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