it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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