my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
