Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
