so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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