Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
