I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dicks are not precious.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
