What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Houston, we have a squirter
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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