Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
