:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
