If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
