is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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