it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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