Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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