hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
