i'm signing you up for texting rehab
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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