Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
