marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dude. I can hear the air.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
