mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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