So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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