I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
