1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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