ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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