jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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