I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
