Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i now understand why vodka
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
