So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
