he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
