Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
