one two three fourrrrnication!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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