He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
