stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
