Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
